For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
