I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
