Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
