Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
