you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
