Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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