Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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