honey bunches of taint.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize