I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
