I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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