We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
