I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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