Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
