It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize