I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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