I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sext me about skeletons
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize