is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
