Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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