not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My vagina just recognized that song.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
