i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
