If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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