i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
