Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
