After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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