i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
