Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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