i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
