Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
