wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
