I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
