and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
