I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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