people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I wear drunk well.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
