Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
