i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
