He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
