I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
