How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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