corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
