Grow some girl-balls and come out already
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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