I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
