Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
