Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
