Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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