yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
