i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I stole a fireplace last night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
