a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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