Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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