I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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