you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She's the barista slut.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
