just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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