I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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