And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
