when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize