It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
