Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize