ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
