Got a toothbrush?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
