And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
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she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
bring money and cleavage
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
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Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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